Explination

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Title   Explination
Category   Out of Character
Author   Lieutenant Ellana Weston
Posted   Wed Aug 17, 2011 @ 10:04am

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Hello, I'm sure or maybe I'm not so sure that some of you have noticed my absence, most probably have not and some do not know me at all. I do however feel that I need to explain why I have been absent, though really considering I had signed up for this duty.. anyway.

Mid July I lost someone very close to me, my Grandmother who had practically raised me (meaning the first five years of my life I lived with her) had passed on. This effected me far worse then I had expected considering I knew she was sick. I won't go into details but I was with her for the first 4 days prior to her actual death and could see she was not going to make it, the day I didn't show up.. is the day she let go.. do I blame myself? Yes that would be the answer, even in the state she was in I had the selfish want to keep her there... maybe some of you understand this, maybe some of you do not.

Either way my life had been tossed upside down and while the hurt is still there it is not nearly as bad as I had thought it would be. So I was looking to find Ella again, the level of happiness I need just to write her has not been around and now to my dismay we have another family crisis on our hands that I am currently dealing with on top of looking for a job.

Why am I sharing all this with you? Because well, I think all of you deserve to be told whats going on, at least now that I have the time to sit and think about it. I am wanting to return, I had thought of just quitting but its not in me to do, I wish to continue writing because when its good, its great and its a good sense of relief. If Ella ICly though sounds a little depressed.. thats just a reflection of my emotion in the background, one I'm trying desperately to keep out the ooc but sometimes there will be a bleed in. Either way.. I didn't mean to drag you all down if this has effected your day, I hope desperately to get back.. besides.. I have people to torture *grins* at Tybek, one Vulcan in particular.

Any how! Have a great day everyone, I will respond to tags later tonight or tomorrow!

Ella Weston